Why I'm Not Ready for a Son...and other funny stories

It is official: I am NOT ready to have a son. Last week Hannah and I decided to enjoy the nice weather so we headed off across the street to swing. We were swinging peacefully for about 5 minutes when all of a sudden from behind us we hear, "AHHHH!!! Get him!! There he is!! Get him!" Hannah and I both whipped our heads around to see who needed to be rescued and to our surprise we saw two little boys (about 6 or 7 years old) running towards us. One had shovel and the other had a gardening tool with two spikes on the end. About 20 feet in front of them was a squirrel, running for his life. Hannah watched in anticipation, barely able to take her eyes off of the strapping young lads. They ran around the park like wild things, yelling and throwing their gardening tools at any squirrel they saw. Every time they spotted a new one they would yell, "AhHHHHH, There's one! I'm going to spear this one!" Of course, every time they did this, the squirrel ran up a tree. This did not discourage the boys though, they stood at the bottom of the tree and hit it with their tools, hoping the squirrel would come down.
A few minutes later another boy (slightly older and taller) came to the park. He obviously had been watching the squirrel hunt from afar. This is the conversation that took place:

Big Boy: Hi, My name is Jake.

Little Boy 1: My name is Will and this is my friend Kevin.

Big Boy: You know, if you are hunting squirrels, there is one really low in that tree you were just at.

Little Boy 1: "There's one!! AHHHHH!!! GET HIM!!!" (Big boy picks up a stick and all three boys go running after the squirrel...no squirrel was speared this time)

Little Boy 2: No guys, shhhhh! We need to be quiet.

Big Boy: Follow me, I've been hunting for a LONG time.

Little Boy 1: "There it is!!!!!!!! Get him!!!!!!!"

Little Boy 2: "No...we can't just charge them, we need to sneak up on them if we are going to catch one."

Off the boys went, back on the trail to where they came from.

Now...it is not the squirrel hunting that I mind. If my future son wants to go hunt squirrels, more power to him. However, I don't know what I would do if my son came home with a dead squirrel...especially one he speared with my garden tool.

Also, boys can't wear cool socks like these!



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A Funny Tale From Second Grade

I have a child in my class, we will call him David, who's family I know very well since I taught his sister two years ago. David is very small and while you would never know it by looking at him, has a few health issues. He was a preemie and then had failure to thrive. The other day I was talking to him and this is the conversation I had.

Me: David, how much did you weigh when you were born?

David: Um...3 pounds.

Me: So, how early were you? (This child really knows a lot so I figured he would know how early he was)

David: I wasn't early, I think I was late.

Me: Oh Really?

David: Yes, I was supposed to be born in 1979 or 1980.

Me: Oh really (trying not to laugh), and when were you born?

David: 2001

Another Child: If you were born in 1980, you would be 28 years old.

David: I know, I was late...WAY late

I just about peed my pants.

My Other Children

As all of you know, I am a teacher. This year I am very fortunate to only be working part time. I teach a class of second graders reading and writing. They are my 16 other children. I am in the middle of testing and I had a substitute in my room this morning so that I could individually test students in order to determine their reading levels. I have a child in my class, we will call him Ronald, who does not fit the typical "Bethesda" mold. Most children in my school are rich, white, brilliant, have live-in nannies, travel around the world every school holiday, and have cell phones nicer than mine (at 7) . He is not any of those things, but he is an awesome kid who has had 2 rough years at school and stutters so bad you can hardly understand him. I have a heart for this child and I want to see him happy and successful. So far, we are doing well. Today it was his turn to be tested and before we started I was making small talk with him. Here is what he said to me.

Ronald: I wish you could take the day off so that you could spend time at home with babies like Hannah.

Me: I wish I could do that too, that would be fun.

Ronald: She is probably getting into trouble right now at home.

Me: Well, I don't know, she is home with her dad today and I think she is being pretty good.

Ronald: Well, babies have tiny brains, that's why they get into so much trouble.

Me: hmmmmmmmm???

Just then my class walked by on their way to a bathroom break (I teach in a portable so going to the bathroom is an entire class affair). One of my other students, we will call him Frank, was doing something with his hands and this conversation transpired:

Ronald: I think Frank was doing something with his hands, like sticking up his middle finger.

Me: I hope not.

Ronald: Yeah, that is bad. My friend Jason always does this (insert middle finger here). It is so bad. Maybe Frank doesn't know it it bad. I should tell him.

Me: Maybe you should.

Ronald: My friend Joey always says bad words and you are not supposed to say bad words. They are so bad I can't even tell you. I have to keep them a secret. Jason and I don't play with him because he says bad words.

Me: But you still play with Jason even though he sticks up his middle finger?

Ronald: Well, he doesn't do it ALL the time!

See why I love these guys? They are just so funny!

I should have a post with Hannah pictures soon. I have taken some good ones over the last week but Kyle has both home computers taken apart for repairs. They should be up and running this weekend.

Love,
Alexis